More often than not, you can not inform if I’m paying consideration.
That’s to not say that I’m at all times paying consideration. There’s a really stable likelihood that I’m not, but when I’m, it won’t be outwardly apparent.
I is perhaps trying the mistaken means (I’m actually not making eye contact), I would seem like targeted on one thing else (particularly if there’s some type of motion, like a tree swaying within the wind), I would even be enjoying a recreation on my iPad.
However that doesn’t imply I’m not listening; actually, many of the above issues assist me pay attention.
You see, typically, English doesn’t sound like English. The syllables make their means into my ears, however by the point they get to my mind (or as soon as they’re in my mind), they flip right into a jumbled mess. I’m certain that some might need this as a further analysis of Central Auditory Processing Dysfunction – however I personally don’t, and simply contemplate it as a part of my sensory processing referring to Autism.
However regardless, I can hear the phrases, and phrases ought to make sense to me, however they merely don’t. This isn’t fixed, and I’m certain a number of you possibly can relate to me once I say it will depend on a number of elements.
Say, if I’m attempting to make eye contact, phrases exit the window. They make no sense. Ditto if there’s a number of background noise, or if I’m busily attempting to kind out a response on my AAC.
But it surely’s simpler for me to grasp you once I’m doing one thing that takes a small quantity of my focus – say, for instance, doing a simple Sudoku (most are straightforward now, I’m superb), or fidgeting, or stimming in another kind.
So usually, it doesn’t appear to be I’m listening, however I am listening.
And this implies I get overlooked of so many conversations.
I get spoken for in so many conversations.
I’m made to really feel like my voice doesn’t matter.
Simply because I’m listening in a means that’s not acceptable to neurotypical listening.
But, I’m listening. I’m listening, attempting to determine if I can be part of the dialog (do I’ve one thing intelligent to say? One thing related? A reality, possibly?), after which persons are shocked once I all of a sudden interject. They shouldn’t be. I’m sitting proper right here.
It appears as if, simply because I’m not trying you within the eye, and even at your face, or on the object you occur to be discussing, that I’m robotically dismissed. That I don’t need to be within the dialog. However as a rule – I do. I do nonetheless need to be part of it, I simply want my communication wants met the place they’re.
Will you meet me?